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A letter to Grandma

My sweet grandmother has been hospitalized for about a month now! There have been numerous complications  with her health, including a heart attack and inoperable  heart arteries. Two arteries in her heart are unable to be repaired due to calcification. Basically what that means is they have hardened so much that they are not able to be unplugged! This has to be one of the most difficult times in my life. Its heart wrenching to watch a loved one be hooked to numerous ivs, a feeding tube, ventilator and a constant dialysis machine.

During this time of grief , I have been reflecting on my relationship with my grandma. She has been an amazing grandma. I am not giving up on her, but I also know that her body seems very tired and it may not be long before she passes over to heaven. Although I don’t know when or if that will happen. I pray for her peace that surpasses all understanding also I pray for her to return home with her loved ones.  No matter what happens I will always cherish the memories of her  in my heart.

I wanted to write a letter tonight to express my gratitude to her.

Dear Grandma,

Thankyou for being a shining light in my life. As a child I watched you be busy at home without complaint. I watched you tenderly care for your husband and my Grandpa who suffered a stroke at a young age. You selflessly took the role of caregiver to Grandpa without grumbling. Remember my cabbage patch doll named Jean Daryl. Thankyou for each time you sewed his arm back on. Thankyou for the late evening snacks and time spent with me just hanging out watching TV. Thankyou for always being available and never too busy to spend time with me.  Thankyou for the daily conversations and advice you gave me. I knew that any-time of day,I could count on you if I needed an ear or advice on anything from motherhood to cooking. I don’t recall you verbally telling me that you loved me very many times. I do recall your actions of love and that speaks louder than words ever could have! I will always cherish the stories of past that you told me. Thankyou Grandma for being a woman who I look up to and admire. As you rest tonight in the hospital , I pray for a miracle. I pray for your heart to be restored to health. I pray for your lungs to be able to once again be able to breathe air. I pray for the removal of the ventilator which was placed after yet another surgery. I love you Grandma. I pray for sweet dreams. I pray for you to feel strongly the presence of Jesus wrapping you safely in his arms tonight. I love you Grandma!

Love ,

Amanda

 

 

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