Jesus please let my application I am filling out be accepted. I silently prayed to Jesus as I filled out the online Application to be a part of the book launch team for When A Woman Finds Her Voice . After wholeheartedly praying I left the outcome in His hands.
I was ecstatic when upon checking my emails , I discovered that I was accepted to be a part of Jo Ann Fores Book Launch team for her upcoming book , When A Woman Finds Her Voice! The voice I had longed to use since I was a little girl was finally going to be heard. Although I was doing a Happy Dance to celebrate my acceptance another emotion lurked under the surface. The emotion was Fear.
Starting with my early childhood, fear had buried my voice deep within me. There were many times in my younger years when I longed to use my voice . I desired so strongly to be able to trust someone and tell them what was going on in my life.
Although I had been told throughout my life by teachers, parents and grown ups to speak up if someone was touching me inappropriately. Fear kept my voice silent. With each day ,I lost a bit more of my voice. Eventually I began to speak lies into myself ,such as those things didn’t happen to you and if you tell anyone they will not believe you.
At this point in my story you might be asking yourself, what would keep a little girl from using her voice! As I am typing , I am taking deep breaths and silently affirming to myself that its okay to use my voice and tell you why I buried my own voice and spoke lies to myself .
Details are not important , but in this instance help to explain why I had such an intense fear of speaking my truth. Imagine a young child who is trying to fall asleep and someone quietly lays behind her and wont let her get up . She attempted to leave her resting place because something in her soul knew that in that moment things were not going to be good. After attempting to fight and vocalize her displeasure and need for help , her head is violently slammed into her own pillow with the words If you tell anyone I will kill you! At that moment the little girl gave up the losing fight and what should never happen to a little girl happened . That night her innocence was taken and so was her voice.
As you may have figured out, I am that little girl all grown up! I have found my voice and am determined to use it. I feel it is important to use my voice to let women know, they are not alone . That they too can find their voice . Hidden underneath all the pain is a beautiful voice that longs to be heard. Will you bravely step out of your comfort zone and discover your voice that was never meant to be stifled ?