It’s the first day of November. Most of the bloggers who signed up in October to do this 31 day blogging challenge have successfully completed the 31 days by now. I thought about just giving it up and failing the challenge. Instead I made a decision to follow through with my posts until day 31 arrives. One of the biggest giants in my life that needs slayed is Procrastination. I procrastinate about everything. If there was an award given for the worlds best procrastinator I would probably win. Due to procrastination my project of de-cluttering my heart and home has progressed at a very slow rate.
One trait I am developing within myself is determination. I am determined to succeed in my endeavour for organization. My family is a huge motivator for my goals to be followed through with and completed. At times my mind goes in swirls , kind of the like the swirls inside those little kaleidoscope toys I used to play with as a child. Now I am showing my age. The images inside the toy kaleidoscope were pretty to look at yet distorted. Often times I feel my life is like that as well. It’s pretty to look at on the outside but upon looking closer I notice its distorted. Just like the toy has many spinning shapes none of which are distinct in their own appearance only swirling shapes running into one another. As each day collides into the next I find myself sinking deeper into the despair of procrastination.
I know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. The lights name is Jesus. I have to seek his face wholeheartedly. He will not forsake me or leave me. The one that leaves his presence is always me. Once again I have fallen flat on my face in a despairing cry for Jesus to come in and take over. My flesh will never win. I want off the merry-go-round where life is dizzy. My heart desires freedom from clutter in my heart and home. My goal for the upcoming days is to come back and post about my progress for de-cluttering. No matter what is done whether it is a little or alot. My hearts desire is to be honest and transparent about my journey so that if there is someone reading who having similar struggles he or she may find comfort in knowing they are not alone in their adversity.