Day 6~ Decluttering my Heart and Home

Today was a heartbreaking day. I am going to use this space on my blog to de clutter my heart .  Instead of a brain dump I’m going to do a heart dump.

Here goes my heart dump………

Each weekend  for seven weeks my family and I have made an hour trip ,  to see my sweet grandma who was hospitalized in the cardiovascular intensive care unit.  Rewind seven weeks ago she had a heart-attack and underwent heart surgery . After surgery the surgeon informed the family that parts of her heart were calcified over and unviable.  Immediately after surgery the surgeon had to go back into her heart to fix internal bleeding. During my grandmas hospitalization she endured being put on a ventilator and taken off it again twice. The last time they placed it she was unable to be taken off. For weeks she underwent continuous dialysis.  Blood draws became routine seemingly every hour there was someone to take blood or do something medically to her.  Later the dr placed a tracheotomy in her throat along with the ventilator in hopes of being able to wean her off the  vent. A feeding tube was place along with a nasogastric tube . So she had a tube in each nostril.  You could see the frustration in her face because of her lack of being able to communicate her desires. Her health constantly took two steps forward one step back. To make a long story short she endured alot during her seven week stay . Fast forward to the visit we made today. Mom and dad went back to her room first. The hospital usually prefers two visitors at a time. A couple of minutes after walking down to see grandma , my mom came into the waiting room. She was very upset. Mom told me that grandma died, but they were able to bring her back. The bad news was that she would die today again. Mom and I walked back to grandmas room. I walked over to grandmas side and held her hand and stroked her hair.  In-those moments I told her I love you grandma and thank you for all you have taught me.  Seconds after I held her hand and stroked her hair she passed away.  Although it was very sad there was a peace in the room. I have no doubt that peace was from Jesus. Weeks before I  had mentioned to God that I desired to be there to hold my grandmas hand as she passed away. I did not desire for her to pass, but lying in a hospital bed with tubes everywhere is not living it’s merely existing.  I am forever grateful that Jesus orchestrated those moments so that I could be there for my grandma in her final moments here on earth.  While I may be grieving , I have joy in my heart knowing she is with Jesus now and not suffering. Please hold your loved ones near , you never know when they will be taken from you. You will never regret spending more time with those you love. I will miss you grandma. Dance with grandpa and Jesus. We will meet again!

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